Lock this sh** down

A phrase that I thought would never come out of my mouth. And yet I'm finding more and more phrases and conversations these last few months coming out that have both shocked, delighted, and saddened me. I guess this comes with me "coming back to life." Finding new avenues to travel....dating being one. I have never, before my ex, dated. So post-ex, I don't know WTF I am doing. However, I did meet a very nice man (I will refer to him as the Uniform...some will get it, other's, just go with it). It is with the Uniform that I blurted the earlier phrase, thus, embarrassing myself for ages to come. Ironically, I would never take back those words. It is usually always your gut instinct that is correct, such as when you take a test, trying to remember where you parked, etc. And even though, that is a phrase/feeling that has never come across my mind before...it erupted like a volcano, and I could not contain it no matter the repercussions. Well, that gut feeling I was talking about earlier? It hit awhile after I said that immortal phrase. This time, I didn't like what it was saying. It was leading me to say another, more unthinkable, phrase...."I have to let you go." This led me to have one of the worst hangovers I have ever had. I was so sad to say this to the Uniform. We'd had so many great conversations. He inspired me to begin Swirls now, instead of after I retire and helped me see how strong of a person I am. He does so many things I like and am interested in learning about. He was going to teach me how to shoot! Anyway, it was with great sadness that I had to let him go. Our timing for each other is not right, I guess you could say... Let a bird go, fly away....